Many of us don’t know what we want. We have heard many times that we should have goals, a plan, a vision, a strategy etc., However, all these are impossible without actually defining what we want. I ran a class on personal financial planning a few weeks ago. The class went well and the students understood the simple methodology presented to create personal plans. However, in the middle of the class, it became clear that many had never actually thought about what they really want especially beyond the day to day survival. To work hard at anything and especially to get out of your comfort zone while doing it, you have to be motivated. It is very hard to be inspired to achieve what you don’t know you want. Because we don’t define it, we survive. No wonder when asked how we are doing we tend to say that we are surviving. We live month to month.
There will always be bills to paid so if there is nothing bigger than that to work towards, survival will become the objective. The bills can also look very fancy especially when it comes to lifestyle so it’s easy to think that. But the truth is it is still survival no matter how posh it looks. The Bible says that without vision, people do perish. I believe everybody was built for progress of some sort. No one dreams about just surviving. The world can also easily cheat us that we should want the same thing. A house, holidays, certain careers, status, certain businesses, lifestyle, titles, latest gadgets etc. When we have no ideas for ourselves there are plenty to pick from. A celebrity just has to endorse a phone, handbag, car, trip to Dubai and then we decide that’s what we want. There is nothing wrong with all these things but I believe one should have the clarity of mind to decide for oneself that’s what they truly want rather than following other people’s opinions blindly. There are far too many people in terrible debt because of trying to achieve other people’s versions of how fancy their own lives should be. This is not success. It is bondage and it is time to unshackle ourselves.
To really get to know what you want, understand this. Nobody can tell you. They can guide you but they are not you. As an adult looking back you can now see that your parents even with their best intentions could never have told you what career you should have. It had to come from you. You were drawn to certain areas and not others. Sometimes we have gone and become the opposite of what our professional qualifications say. In the same way, knowing what you want (beyond survival) arises by shutting off the noise from everyone else. Listen to what your instinct is telling you. Connect the dots backwards in your own life and remember what brought joy to you. Sometimes it comes to us by also knowing what you don’t want. If you know you don’t want to be in debt, then you also know you want to find extra income to pay off debt. You don’t like your job, that means you know you want to do something different or start a business. These may not look like life-altering revelations but it is a start and a point many have not gotten to. If you are listening to everybody else and busy wondering what they think, you may get into more debt by trying to please them.
When you allow yourself to want it it will look scary and many times impossible. That serves to block many of us from taking steps, any step. Everybody that you admire at this very point is scared and has things they want to do that still seem impossible. The more people I talk to, the more I realise that achievement comes in baby steps. Do the next best thing. You discover when you are in the process of doing something and not on the sidelines.
You are not a photocopy of anybody else in this world. Because you were uniquely designed there is an impact you were meant to have and unique abilities that came with that. There may be bills to take care of and do what you must to handle that. However always have one foot in the dream. A section of your life working towards or just discovering what you really want. Resources follow the person who knows where they are going.
Waceke runs programs on Personal Finance and Entrepreneurship. Get in touch with her on waceken@centonomy.com|Facebook/WacekeNduati| Twitter@cekenduati