Lifestyle Pressure At The Workplace

Hi Waceke.  I work for an international organisation based in Nairobi.  I have been reading your articles and want to empower myself to create wealth.  However there is a lot of pressure to conform to a certain lifestyle at work.  Our managers actually encourage us to drive certain cars and live in certain neighbourhoods. I fear I will not rise up the ranks if I do not conform.  Please advice me.

I conducted a training session at yesterday and someone pulled me aside at the tea break and posed this question to me. We had just been talking about “image” in the session.  A lot of people do face the same dilemma. They feel there is external pressure for them to look good so dress in a certain way, drive a certain car, and be seen in certain entertainment venues. All in the name of keeping up the right appearances.  In our courses we have had many people who have gone through this particular dilemma.  The answer is in most times not straightforward but in essence the manager is wrong to do that.  However the major danger to people happens when they actually start believing that the only way to get ahead is by buying the right car or creating a certain lifestyle.  One thing is for sure it will never be enough.  From experience and testimonies of the people I have worked with, these types of managers or organisations will always keep demanding something from you and then you get into the trap of an image driven lifestyle.  There is always a bigger phone, a bigger car and a bigger place to live. So to be able to make even objective decisions with what we decide to do or not to do, we first need to know and believe that these external things do not actually make you better at your job or a better person. So majority of your efforts should be spent on developing the experience and skills that in fact do “make you good” at rather than figuring out how to acquire material things that only temporarily “make you look good”.  All these things are not bad to have but your primary motive to acquire should never be driven by other peoples’ opinions.  This is actually one of the reasons many people are struggling with consumer debt.  Remember the person putting pressure on you to “upgrade your image” is not going to come to your rescue when you are having problems repaying your loan.

Once you are clear within yourself that this item does not define you, does not add value to you as human being, make you better at your job, enhance a skill then you can then make objective decisions on what to do. You can also set boundaries on what you will accommodate and what you will not accommodate. You can also decide whether it is another course of action that will get you the result you want.  One of my clients realised that she thought that driving the right car will open doors into certain networks.  She realised it was her who had actually become attached the thought of the car, thinking will add value it her.  Once she realised that it was the networks she wanted she worked not on getting a car but on getting the networks. Yes she did spend some money being at certain social functions but far less than the debt she would have paid in upgrading her car. Sometimes we may think that these items are a short cut to doing the true work.  They are not! Even if she had bought the car, she would have still had to put the same effort into building the network but she would have held a false belief that it is the car that opened doors. Then at some point bought yet another car thinking it will open the bigger doors.

If you are the manger or organisation that is putting pressure on people to conform to your standard but at their expense – there is no gentle way of putting this, it is wrong and in in the worst interests of your team. If as an organisation you strongly believe in a certain standard provide it to people.  If you believe client visits should only happen with a Mercedes, then buy the cars for people to use. And I don’t mean offer them a cheap loan to buy the car but rather fund it as an organisation. Maybe you do need to question your own beliefs and opinions on success and wealth.  Also evaluate what truly makes people better at their jobs and push that agenda rather than then agenda of materialism. I was thoroughly impressed when the MD of a large bank that I conducted training for, stood up in front of all his employees and told them not to copy him.  He stated that his car, house and lifestyle was all paid for by the bank so none of them should be struggling trying to get the same life through their salaries.  He was actually mortified to find cars as expensive as the one the bank had bought him, in the staff parking lot. I wish more leaders would pass this message on because there are many people trying to copy the CEO’s falsely believing that they will be noticed more.  Let’s all remember that all these material things at the end of the day have nothing to do with true wealth.  Do not buy them at the expense of acquiring real assets that will work for you in the future. When you are retired, your shiny vehicle will not be shiny anymore and will not put food on the table.