This morning on the way to work I had a conversation with a good friend of mine about fear and it prompted today’s topic. Following the article I wrote two weeks ago on the transition from entrepreneur to employee, I have started having various discussions on my social media forums. I went back to several of the comments and lo and behold, the issue of fear is extremely common. In fact someone actually said that if they would just stop being scared they would start a business. I gave a talk last week as well on the same topic and really that again is what dominated the discussion. I was asked how I overcame fear when I left my job. We all want to know how to get past fear? Many people do want to make that transition into business but fear holds them back. And fear is not just a stumbling block to those people who want to make the transition into business. Ask anybody who wants to make a career change. They feel the same thing. Ask anybody who wants to go the next level with his or her investments. Ask anybody who want to confront something with themselves or others. Fear just seems to be all around us. Now, I feel this emotion and battle with it almost every day. This is for those of you who have been saying that you want to start a business, side hustle, create wealth, do something different but year after year and you have found yourself in the same place. We will be telling each other happy new year in just a few weeks time. Don’t you think its time we did something different so that you are not in the same spot come end of year 2016. Imagine you are driving your car with a passenger, lets’ call him Mr. X. Mr. X is one of those annoying people who will just not stop yapping away. You are going for a wedding. You don’t know exactly how to get to the venue but you have an idea. At least you know where to start and you have decided which route you will try and use. However your passenger is distracting you. Mr. X keeps telling you how the route you are taking is wrong, how you are not good enough of a driver, only people who have 86 years experience and doctorates in driving are able to use that route, how it might rain etc. He even tells you the benefits of not going. You can stay warm in your bed, watch some TV, get some reading done, be well rested, you won’t run the risk of getting lost. He even convinces you that nothing will be missed by not going for this wedding. Before long you believe Mr. X and since he clearly knows what he is talking about, you even give him the car to drive you back home.
Mr. X is fear. I am no psychologist or counselor to tell you why Mr. X shows up. Could be you invited him without knowing, messages you received earlier on, belief systems, experiences etc. The fact is he is there. Now let’s say going to the wedding is starting the business. Fear or Mr. X will always be there to convince you why you should not start. Telling you how it is risky, you will fail. Making sure you remember how uncomfortable it will be e.g. not having money for a while, possible rejection of ideas, loss of status and how comfortable your current situation is e.g. routine or a steady income. You can stay warm and snuggly under the blanket and everything will be ok. You then start letting fear drive your agenda. It becomes the reason not to do anything. The more you don’t do, the easier it becomes not to do. You have handed over the keys and fear has mastered you. Or something else could happen. Mr. X is still yapping away in the car but you simply ignore him. Yes, you will feel unsure of this route, you will feel scared, you will feel anxious. But you can choose to keep driving and not to engage with Mr. X. This is an act of will not a result of feeling the right way. The more and more you practice it, the easier it becomes to ignore Mr. X. The more you ignore him and move forward with your chosen route the quieter and quieter Mr. X’s voice becomes. Not necessarily because he is not talking it’s just that you are more focused on the road. Same way when you are engrossed in a good movie, you sometimes don’t hear what else is happening in your house. So for a moment there you will have to pretend. Yes, you handle fear by first pretending. What would you do if you were not scared? Do exactly that even if your voice is quivering and knees are wobbling. So start driving to the wedding even if you are scared of getting lost. Start that business even if you are scared. Go for that course. Talk to that person. At least this way you are not handing over the keys to Mr. X. You may be feeling out of your depth but you are now mastering or overcoming fear. You did not hand over the keys. You are your own driver.
So all people feel scared no matter how successful they are. I think they just have the right relationship with fear and have understood how to handle it. Even if you do this successfully with the route to the wedding, remember Mr. X will continue to show up whenever you are trying something new. He is persistent and does not get tired. You are feeling scared because fear is one of the most important and continuous things you will have to deal with as an entrepreneur. You are being tested now in the beginning because it will always be there. If it is stopping you now it will stop you later. There’s no magical moment in time when fea’r just wont be there. If you have handed over the keys take them back. Drive your own car.
Waceke runs programs on Entrepreneurship. Find her at waceken@centonomy.com| twitter @cekenduati| facebook.com/cekenduati